Achieving Greater Personal Fulfillment On Valentine’s Day
Whether you are sharing Valentine’s Day with friends or a significant other, the holiday can cause a lot of stress. In fact, a recent study found that 40% of people surveyed have negative feelings towards Valentine’s Day. To help you make the most of this holiday, no matter who you share it with, I’ve highlighted some ways in which you can achieve greater personal fulfillment on Valentine’s Day!
- First and foremost, put things into perspective and come up with your own definition of what Valentine’s Day is and what it truly means to you. Don’t worry about what advertisements are telling you the holiday should be about; rather use the holiday as a reminder to celebrate all of the people and things that you love, and those who love you.
If you’re not currently in a relationship…
- Rather than viewing being alone on Valentine’s Day as a negative, look at it as a day to appreciate you! One thing that I focus on frequently when I work with couples in
couple’s therapy is that you cannot truly love someone else until you learn to love yourself. Although it may sound silly, come up with a list of reasons why you are loveable; this can mean anything from your kindness to your great sense of humor. Nobody is perfect, and the process of making this list will open your eyes to just how many valuable qualities you do possess rather than focusing on qualities you wish you had. - In addition to loving yourself today, there are plenty of other people out there who could use your love. Research has shown that when we do something nice for someone else, we find more satisfaction in life. A few rewarding things that you could do to keep spirits high throughout the day are:
- Make personalized Valentine’s Day cards for each of your friends, coworkers, or family members with a sentence or two about what makes them special.
- Plan a night out for yourself and your friends. Bringing together a positive group of friends and having a fun night together will mean greater happiness for all of you.
- Catch-up with old friends and relatives. Seeing people you have not spoken to in awhile can help reestablish your friendships with them and lead to longer-lasting relationships in the future.
- Surprise a friend or family member who lives far away with a care package filled with Valentine’s Day themed candy and goodies. Getting a package in the mail can brighten up anyone’s day!
If you are in a relationship…
- Use Valentine’s Day as an opportunity to strengthen your relationship with your significant other. On a day-to-day basis we get caught up in all sorts of life’s tasks. Sit down with your loved one and take some time to reflect and look back at the year together. Think of some ways in which you can continue to make more time for cherishing each other in the coming year.
Plan out some fun activities you have wanted to try together and stick to the dates you choose as best as possible. - Give or make your significant other a personalized gift that is truly from the heart. Remember when your parents always said that they loved the homemade gifts the best? That’s probably because they knew how much thought and love you put into creating it for them. Apply that same concept to your loved one this Valentine’s Day! Rather than going out and buying just any gift, try some of these heart-felt gift ideas:
- Put together a card, video, presentation, etc. and tell your significant other all of the things that you love about them and that make them special to you.
- Plan a special date, such as a night out to the theater, a dinner at a restaurant that means something to both of you, or cook a special meal for two at home. Sharing positive experiences with your loved one builds meaningful memories that you can both cherish together.
- Gather all of your favorite pictures together and make a photo calendar or collage.
- If you enjoy shopping and want to buy them a gift, pick something out at the store that they have walked by multiple times and always wanted but would never buy for themselves.
Spice Up Your Love Life With A Little Extra Help From A Therapist
As an adult, young adult, and couple’s therapist in the South Bay, I understand that intimate relationships can be very rewarding, but often a challenging area of our lives. If you feel like your love life could use a little help, or if you would like to learn some tools to make your relationship stronger and happier, please feel free to contact me by phone at (310) 892 – 2572, or email me.