How Fatherhood is Changing
The outdated adage goes that fathers are more or less similar to mothers – they just do things worse. The idea that fathers are essentially “back-up” mothers gained prominence in the 20th century when traditional gender norms and stereotypes were seen as truisms across society. Now, however, those roles are starting to change. The traditional roles of fathers and mothers are starting to blend, and according to research cited in a recent article by the LA Times, that’s a good thing for children. So listen up, dads, because you’re more important than you might think!
Why Fathers Matter to Child Development
Despite popular folk wisdom of the past century, fathers have a significant and lasting impact on their children’s development and lives. Studies have shown that involved, supportive fathers have a positive impact on their children in a variety of ways, stretching across many areas of development. Here are just a few of the statistics that outline the importance of an invested father:
- Chances of teen pregnancy and other early sexual experiences are lower for daughters who spend more time with their fathers.
- Children who grow up spending time with their fathers are less likely to develop behavioral and psychological problems.
- Fathers are more likely to introduce new, challenging words to children, meaning that fathers who talk to their children regularly have a greater impact on increasing the child’s vocabulary.
- The physical play that fathers often engage in with their children is important for helping a child explore, learn boundaries, and develop a confident sense of individuality.
These are all critical domains for a child’s development, and this is only the tip of the iceberg for how a father helps a child grow. Thankfully, outdated social norms and expectations around fatherhood are changing, giving dads a chance to live up to their parenting potential and have the maximum positive impact on their children.
The Changing Duties of Dads
Dad isn’t just a breadwinner anymore. As more women join the workforce and pursue long-term careers, fathers are taking on a larger role in raising their children. The Census Bureau estimates that some 200,000 married fathers are stay-at-home dads, while men make up 16% of single parents in America, totaling 1.9 million single dads. As gay marriage is legalized in more and more states, more children than ever are growing up with two dads – and even for heterosexual parents, fathers are having an increasingly significant impact on their children’s development.
As the norm of toxic hypermasculinity erodes and men are allowed to embrace more of their emotional life, fathers are playing a more important role in raising an emotionally honest and open child. So how can dads assume the full role of fatherhood and maximize their positive impact on a child? Here are a few things that dads can keep in mind.
How Men Can Embrace the New Nature of Fatherhood
- Talk About Feelings: While we used to think of fathers as emotionally distant from children, the reality is that fathers are critical to helping children understand, process, and deal with emotions in a healthy way. The relationship between a father and child is an important model for a child’s emotional intelligence, so as a dad, it’s important for you to talk to your child about their feelings – and yours.
- Communicate: Fathers also help children learn how to communicate to those around them about subjects both big and small. As a father, make a point of spending time with your child and communicating with them in healthy, open ways. Through talking to you, they’ll learn to effectively express themselves, communicate their experience, and understand the experiences of others, all of which will help them throughout their lives.
- Be a Role Model: Actions speak louder than words, and that’s doubly true for dads. It’s important for you to model healthy behaviors to your child, as they’ll likely imitate you – for better or for worse. Instead of modeling destructive, harmful behavioral patterns like never asking for help, never crying, and getting angry, show your child what healthy behavior looks like. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, don’t try to hide your feelings, and talk through your emotions when you get upset.
How Fatherhood is Changing
It’s very exciting that dads now have so many opportunities to play a larger role in their children’s lives – but as a father, I can understand how all of this information can be overwhelming or seem daunting. Parenting is one of the most challenging parts of life, and if it all starts to feel like too much, therapy can help. I’ve worked with countless fathers and couples to help them get through the difficulties of parenting. You can count on me to receive your concerns, thoughts, and feelings with compassion and non-judgmental understanding while at the same time providing you with the tools you need to become the parent you want to be!
If you would like to pursue therapy individually or with your family, I’d love to help – just call me at (310) 892-2572, reach out at my contact page, or schedule your next appointment online.