Happy Mother’s Day!
What It Means To Be A Mom
For many children, the most important person in their lives is their mother. Throughout our lifetime our feelings toward Mom may change, but at the end of the day we know that she always has our best interest at heart. Everyone’s relationship with their mom is different, but many will agree that becoming a mother is one of the hardest roles anyone can take on. Long hours and no pay – who in their right mind would take that on?
President Woodrow Wilson announced the first Mother’s Day celebration on May 9, 1914, and now we celebrate Mom on the second Sunday in May every year. In honor of Mom, let’s explore some of the common feelings and thoughts shared by many mothers across the country.
Overwhelming & Unconditional Love For Their Children
One of the most common things you will hear from a mom, especially a new mom, is that they never thought they could feel so much love for one person. This extreme emotion can be a double-edged sword. As much joy as these feelings can bring, they may also bring on intense feelings of anxiety, such as feeling guilty after their child is born. Since the child is now getting most of their devotion, where does that leave room for her partner?
After childbirth, many moms feel an overwhelming need to devote all of their time and energy to their children, which can sometimes lead to problems between partners. It is important to remember that these feelings are normal. At the same time, it is equally important that consistent and open communication in your relationship remains a priority. Even though it may seem like your child needs your attention 100% of the time, especially when he/she is an infant, it is critical to carve out “couple’s time” where you and your partner can spend uninterrupted time doing something special together.
Another common fear among first time moms is, “How will I be able to love the next child as much?” Many mothers experienced so much love and joy with their first child, that they are convinced they will never be able to feel that again. However, more often than not, as soon as the second (and third and fourth…) child arrives, those anxious feelings dissipate and are replaced by those intense feelings of unconditional love that where experienced the first time.
The Working Mom vs. The Stay At Home Mom Debate
Whether a mom should stay at home with the children or go back to her career is a hot topic these days. According to an article by the National Association of Child Care Resources & Reference Agencies, 71.3% of women with children are working outside of the home.
There is no answer to which option is best – this is a highly personal decision that depends on many factors. The decision to go back to work and leave your child in the hands of a caretaker or another family member is a hard choice that many moms struggle with. At the same time, moms who choose to stay home may one day feel some feelings of resentment that they “gave it all up”.
In both situations it is important for moms to remember to carve out quality time for themselves as well as with their children. Doing so helps moms achieve an ideal balance between holding onto a sense of self and fully embracing motherhood. As children grow, they inevitably become more and more independent. In order to avoid feeling like you have missed out on any stage of this incredible “growing up” process, make sure to take advantage of each and every opportunity to spend quality time with your children. It can make all the difference in the world!
There Are A Million Right Ways To Raise Children Right
Everyone has advice on the best way to raise a child and which method will produce the “best” child. However, over time, moms will learn that there is no one-way to do things right. Being a mom is often a thankless job, but it is a job that is rooted in love.
So this Mother’s Day be sure to thank your mom for all of those times you drove her crazy or didn’t listen. She will surely appreciate the recognition, but she will probably say she’d do it all over again in a second!
About Dr. Kelly Mothner
To learn more about the services I offer click here. My office is centrally located in Hermosa Beach, California and I provide therapy and counseling services for children, teens, adults and couples in Manhattan Beach, Redondo Beach, El Segundo, Torrance and all over the South Bay area. Please feel free to contact me!