How to Avoid Comparisons
Theodore Roosevelt once said that “Comparison is the thief of joy” – but in our modern, connected world, it’s hard not to feel as though that thief has a permanent place in our lives. Thanks to the endless feeds of Facebook, Instagram, and other social media applications, it’s easier now than at any other point in human history to constantly compare ourselves and our lives to the people around us. Unfortunately, this is a recipe for deep and lasting feelings of sadness, dissatisfaction, and emptiness. As a counselor offering multi-specialty therapy in Hermosa Beach, comparisons are a frequent topic in sessions with my clients. That is why in this blog my aim is to provide a few helpful strategies for avoiding comparisons in your daily life.
Start a Gratitude Journal
Fundamentally, the problem with comparing yourself to others is that no matter how happy you are, how successful you are, how beautiful you are, or how great your life seems, someone, somewhere will always be, or seem, to have it better. The problem with comparisons isn’t that you or your life isn’t enough: the problem is focusing on how someone has more than you, and therefore what you have is insufficient. Trust me when I say that even millionaires can feel inferior because they compare themselves to people with even more money!
One of the best ways to fight comparisons is to shift your focus from what you don’t have to what you do have. A gratitude journal is one of the simplest, most effective ways to do that. Keeping a gratitude journal is easy: every night before bed, simply write a couple of sentences on three things you’re grateful for. It may seem basic, but doing this every night over a long period of time literally rewires the brain to focus more on gratitude for what you do have, helping you escape the endless cycle of comparisons.
Do a Social Media Cleanse
Comparison is likely a part of human nature, but social media makes comparison easier – and more unfair – than ever. Browsing social media not only forces you to compare yourself to those around you, but it means you compare yourself only to an idealized version of the people around you. People tend to post the highlights of their lives on social media, creating a curated and fundamentally false view of what life actually looks like. Comparing your own, actual life to these idealized versions is a recipe for disaster.
If this is a problem for you, it may be time to take a detox break from social media. Staying off of social feeds for even just a few weeks can help put life into perspective, limiting the opportunities you have to compare yourself to other people and helping you focus on the important things in your life. When you do return to socials, remember that what you’re seeing there isn’t the whole story – so any comparison you make isn’t a valid one.
Schedule a Counseling Appointment in Hermosa Beach
Comparing yourself to others is a common problem for people at all stages of life, and if you’re struggling to manage this tendency, I’d love to help. As a multi-specialty therapist serving clients in Hermosa, Manhattan, and Redondo Beach, I strive to bring a compassionate and understanding approach to therapy by creating a safe environment for clients to express, process, and heal deep feelings. You deserve to live a happy life, and therapy can be a way to get there. Take the first step: reach out to schedule an introductory appointment today!