Leveling Out Expectations For New Romantic Relationships
N
ew relationships are fun and exciting. At the beginning, you are getting to know each other on an intimate level and exploring new things together. It may seem like it’s only fun, but it’s also a crucial time to share expectations for the relationship and practice positive communication. At every level of a romantic relationship, setting expectations is necessary; if we do not, our relationships will be vulnerable and may fail. As your relationship counselor in Manhattan Beach, I want to help guide you and your partner in your new, budding relationship: the fun parts, the difficult parts, and even the scary parts. Romantic relationships are hard work for both individuals involved, even at the beginning.
When you enter a new relationship, it is important to be clear about your wants and your expectations. By being transparent with one another, it will ensure that you are both on the same page. There will not be any unwanted surprises. A good starting place is discussing your expectations for the relationship. How serious is the relationship? Where do you hope the relationship will go? You will also want to address bigger topics like your career, marriage, or children. What is important to you in your life and therefore, in this relationship? I work with all of my clients to have open and positive communication with their partners. Communication is crucial for every relationship, whether you have been dating for a few months or in a committed relationship for several years. Poor communication can ruin a relationship while open communication can strengthen it. My advice is to strive for openness even if it feels scary: share how you are feeling, express your desires, and in return, listen to your partner’s feelings and desires. This will promote closeness and intimacy.
It is also important to learn about each other’s pet peeves or trigger points. Discuss what makes you upset or angry. Then, together, you can use this awareness to promote more positive interactions and reduce tension. Of course, disagreements or arguments happen in all romantic relationships, but you can definitely decrease their occurrence.
By beginning your relationship on the same page, openly discussing your expectations, and learning more about one another on a deeper level, you will quickly discover if this relationship is something you want in your life. Together, you and your partner will find out if your expectations are aligned or not. If they are aligned and you understand and respect those areas of difference between the two of you, you increase the chances of having a strong, resilient and enduring long-term relationship. As always, I am here to help you and your partner navigate the intricacies of your relationship. Call today and let’s discuss your relationship expectations!